My husband, Dave, and I have been married over 50 years, and I can honestly say we have a great marriage. But it didn’t start out that way. Like many people, I learned that it takes effort and a willingness to let God change us if we’re going to have a healthy marriage. One of the most important things we can do is examine our expectations.
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My husband, Dave, and I have been married over 50 years, and I can honestly say we have a great marriage. But it didn’t start out that way. Like many people, I learned that it takes effort and a willingness to let God change us if we’re going to have a healthy marriage. One of the most important things we can do is examine our expectations.
Having unrealistic expectations can sabotage a marriage before it ever really gets started. So many people enter marriage expecting their spouse to be something they are not. Or they have the unrealistic expectation that their marriage partner will be able to keep them happy all of the time.
For starters, I think it’s important to realize the way you feel when you’re dating is different than how you’ll feel after you’ve been married for a while. In the beginning, everything is new and exciting, and emotions are running high. But a day will come when all of those emotions won’t necessarily be there, and that’s okay.
For instance, just because I don’t melt into the carpet every time Dave walks into the room, it doesn’t mean I love him any less than before. In fact, I love him more. Our love is deeper because it’s based on years of experience and getting to know each other. We have a quality of relationship now that is so much greater than when we first met.
The key to building a healthy marriage to Dave has been a serious commitment to be as close to God as I can possibly be. Maturing spiritually in Christ has changed me in wonderful ways that have healed and restored my soul and filled me with His love.
In Ephesians 3:17 (AMP), the apostle Paul prayed for the church in Ephesus, “that Christ may dwell in your hearts through your faith” and that they would be “[deeply] rooted and [securely] grounded in love.” Being changed by the love of God has given me the ability to love Dave the way I should love him, rather than expecting him to be everything I think he should be.