Roses. Flowers. Chocolate and cute little red hearts and notes of affection. You know what I’m talking about because it has become such a tradition in our world every February 14 to share something sweet (whether poetic prose, a gesture, or actual goodies) with a “sweetheart.” (See what I did there?)

I really think it is a good idea, after all, who doesn’t want to know they’re valued by someone special?

But the day did not start because some man was trying to tell the love of his life he couldn’t live without her. It started a long time ago in the third century while the Roman Empire was actively participating in one of its favorite pastimes of persecuting Christians. Some church tradition says there was a compassionate clergyman and physician named Valentinus (in Latin; Saint Valentine in English) who was known most for ministering to Christians who were being persecuted. In a time when polygamy was the rule, not the exception, and young people were forbidden to marry in order to keep soldiers focused on war, not love, Valentine performed wedding ceremonies for many couples. His activities eventually culminated with Emperor Claudius II Gothicus first beating, then beheading him on February 14 in AD 270.

Since that time, both the Eastern and Western Orthodox churches and their off shoots have venerated St. Valentine as a martyr with a day of remembrance. The Western churches remember him on their calendar every February 14; the Eastern churches have his special day on their calendar for July 6.

There have been many occurrences throughout history on Valentine’s Day, not all of them good, and the tradition has gone on so long and in so many countries, there are many variations of the origin story, but there is a thread that ties everything together. Love. In respect of a man who was willing to risk everything to promote a pure kind of love, I urge you to ponder this quote from Jesus Christ that Valentine must have held dear, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:12-13.)

And, on a lighter note, I propose a compromise to those of you who realize too late that you missed “the day” to celebrate your love for your sweetheart, make plans to do something special on July 6th like the Eastern Orthodoxy does. It may just smooth things over.